Categories / Satire

The gift of gas

I’m told that the holidays are “just around the corner,” a time when we are all looking for that “special something.” Inspired by an informative holiday press release, I’ve thus put together a collection of practical gifts in latest issue of ReadyMade, with something for “everyone on your list.”

Tangled in the keyword net

Last week on, I tried to illustrate some of the powerful intelligence data capture made possible by the NSA’s supposed keyword search technology (for a more serious look at data mining technology and the NSA, try chapter 12 of Safe):

O say, ma, been laden forever!
Working with your phone company, skilled NSA operatives are rounding up evil terrorists who speak Islamofascist jive.

By Evan Ratliff | May. 12, 2006

Memo: NSA headquarters, Fort Meade
Automated data mining analysis, transcript #HS48652-6
Target: Evan Ratliff
Communication: Domestic e-mail intercepts
Keyword extraction recommendation: Significant terror risk. Operations imminent.

From: eratliff@*********.com
To: samschaffer@*****.com

Yo, Schaffe! What’s up?! How’s life down South? Tried calling your cell, but you must have been out hitting the bars pretty hard last night. Did you check out that little home-style restaurant I told you about? The house specialty is lamb chop, OH SNAP!! You’ll love it.

drink a PBR for me,

Here’s the rest.